Monday, July 21, 2014

Still breathing

I've had the urge to come back here for a few weeks now. I miss archiving my thoughts, snippets of my day, moments in my life in this one little corner of the world.

My dad passed away on March 10th. Doctors seemed about as baffled as we were for his abrupt and severe decline in health over a few days, and we eventually settled on a diagnosis and cause that seemed the most logical.

Losing him turned my world upside-down. Perhaps, one day, I'll write down the details of the days just before and after losing him, but I'm not ready to relive my feelings during that time. I never ever believed that emotions could do so much physical damage to a person until mine overtook my life. I am on the path back to good health, though, and I see the strength of my emotions now and work around the clock not to let them spiral out of control. My family have been my saving grace and I surely could not have made it through the thick of it so easily without them.

But, life is good, if not very emotional, and I carry my dad's memory along with me everywhere and in everything I do. Avienne mentions him at every familiar phrase or sound, and she often asks to see his picture when she's upset. I like to think he consoles her somehow, even if just by his memory.

We have a lot going on right now - some really big plans coming up and some expansion on the horizon for my business. Avienne is still enjoying a few hours at preschool, and we're hoping to extend her time there soon. She has turned TWO and lights up our lives with her equal parts silly and sweet self. I'm so grateful for her.

There is much to write and I'm glad to be back here again to make sure I get it all out.

1 comment:

wendieland said...

i'm so sorry for you... i also lost my dad and can imagine what you're feeling.
xx